Puff Pieces by Adrian: Chivalry

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Chivalry

I got to the door of the Pickup Stix restaurant seconds before the young woman did. I thought about simply letting myself in and ignoring her altogether, but I didn't. I stopped, opened the door for the twenty-something year-old, and watched her walk in. She said, "thanks," and glanced my way briefly enough, not quite making eye contact. I followed her in, and instead of her letting me go ahead of her -because I had gotten there seconds before her- she ignored me, and approached the counter.

Now, it is at this next point that I became annoyed. She fumbled around, stared at the menu, asked the server a bunch of rookie questions, and then still took her time ordering. It was clear to me that she did not have the presence of mind to be courteous and allow me to go first, but she was not ready to order and had no clue what she wanted.

It's no secret to anyone in today's western world that chivalry is an antiquated term that the young people probably associate with medieval knights instead of common place courtesy. There is also an argument that modern feminism killed this chivalry. There is some merit in that too, but I would have expected that pendulum to swing back this way by now. After all, most men want to help a lady not because she needs it or because she is weaker, but because he is a gentleman. Who says a lady can't be a feminist anyways? I prefer a woman that is both, but I digress.

I am by no means an idiot as it turns out. Far be it from me to expect anyone to actually teach the younger generations to be kind and courteous. A young man behaving as a gentleman in America today is rare, as is a young woman dressing and behaving as a lady. Far be it from me to expect that in a society that worships the mighty dollar above integrity and honesty, physical appearance over virtue and character, and fame over modesty and knowledge, for there be the need to teach such a thing as chivalry and respect.

That is not where it ends for me though. I had known this prior to my walking up to the Pickup Stix in the first place. I knew this before I decided to open the door for the young woman. I knew I'd be lucky to get a "thank you" for it, which to my surprise, I did. I still did it anyways, because I refuse to be that guy. I refuse play a part in letting chivalry die. I refuse to not be a gentleman. And most of all, what can I say? I'm just a nice guy.

I'm laughing now, as I wrote that last sentence. There is plenty more I have to say on the subject, but I will get into that at another time. Before I end this puff piece, I'll leave you with this. There was a time, at a place, when I opened the door for a lady. She smiled and and thanked me, and when we both got in, she allowed me to go first. I smiled back as the gesture was appreciated, and in that we were actually in the perfect world.

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Revolution of the Soul. A Mission Statement.

I am by default, and through no fault of my own, different. I’m not out cruising the boulevard on the weekends, blasting oldies-but-goodies with the homies. I am also not listening to rock en Espanol, speaking in Spanish-only with my friends. I could fit into either stereotype perfectly though, and to an outsider, I probably appear to be from either or both worlds. I have brown skin, which is pretty much all it takes. It’s not that simple though, as others like me surely understand. I speak some Spanish but I also speak perfect English. I went to college. I love hamburgers and fries, and hip-hop, and alternative music. I have simply integrated into American culture from the start, because I was born here, and because I wanted to.

I’m glad that I’m not still stuck in Mexico somewhere, growing up a third world existence, which statistically would have been the case, had my familia never come here. But I am glad to have come from a country and peoples with such a rich and vibrant history. There are many reasons having such a heritage is a good thing, and I am proud to be a part of it. I am glad to have been born here in America, and happy to be part of this system. I’m happier yet that I didn’t grow up as a cholo gang-banging, tagger, too-cool-for school type of guy, even though I’ve had plenty of chances, given my surroundings. That subculture is not all bad either, depending on the level of involvement and the choices one makes. In other words, you can look the part without being a thug, or a social, or immigrant, or anything else, que no? This is true of all life.

So even though I am different, I am by no means alone, and I know this. The problem for me is that I’m not seeing enough representation out there in the media. I’m not seeing a lot of works written, or filmed, for people like me. It annoys me, too, for a lot of political reasons, because our image is grossly misrepresented. Sure the gangbanger cholos are fun to include in film, because violence sells. However, that only perpetuates a false image. These days, it seems as though everyone in this country sees us either as cholos or as immigrants that refuse to assimilate, legal or not. This angers me because we are so many different things including a multitude of diversity within our own subculture. It’s pretty frickin’ beautiful, if everyone only knew…

Either way, I decided to make the changes I wanted to see, on my own. I’m writing stories for me, for you, and for everyone else, and my main characters are all Latino, and not just Mexican-Latino either. My stories are not about quinceaneras or growing up as a pocho in high school. They are not about crossing the border, or starting any revolutions. The only revolution I write about is the Revolution of the Soul. My stories are meant to entertain and inspire people, and hopefully many of you will relate to them in one way or another, and see yourselves there in them, wherever that may be.