Puff Pieces by Adrian: Ugly A$$ Fools

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Ugly A$$ Fools

“I’m not what you would call a handsom man. The good Lord chose not to bless me with…” – Paco from The Waterboy

I remember seeing that scene for the first time and thinking the opposite. Ron Howard’s brother, Clint, played the part of the “ugly” guy in that movie and scene, and I remember thinking that I just didn’t get it. He seemed like an ok looking guy to me. However, I also remember thinking that I suck at being able to tell if a dude is good looking or not. This thing really goes back way before that though.

Many years ago, when I was a teenager and even into my twenties, I couldn’t tell if a guy was good looking or not. And why would I? I mean who gives a crap? All dudes pretty much looked ugly to me, just in differing degrees, perhaps. When the world went crazy for NKOTB, I was like, why. All the chicks wanted those dudes, but they looked whack to me. Nice hair, guys. Back then, I’d see a blond guy with blue eyes and I’d say, hey, Allie (my wife), that guy’s gotta be good looking, right? “Gross,” she’d say.

Fast forward to today. It’s getting a bit better. Maybe it’s because I’m a bit more in tune with myself and my own standing in the world. Maybe it’s because my eye for details has gotten so much better. For example, I see the straight lines in face structures; I can see cratered skin, crooked noses, uneven eyes, sloping foreheads, bad teeth, funny chins etc… I see those things now, when before, possibly because of some mental block, I didn’t see any of it unless it was super obvious. Whatever the reason, I think I come a lot closer, but still (and proudly) I cannot tell.

Just the other day, I laughed that Channing Tatum was going to be a guest on the Ellen show. My wifeypants got all super excited that this ugly a$$ fool was coming on that day. Now, this dude makes pretty good movies, and he seems pretty cool. “Fighting” was an awesome movie. This guy is cool enough to be my friend, from what I can tell, but that says nothing about his looks. I never thought anything of it until he blew up and got every chick’s attention. I ain’t hatin’, and congrats to him and all that, and I guess I know he’s not an “ugly a$$ fool”, but I’m just saying, he doesn’t look like anything special to me.

Anyways, that’s what prompted me to write this piece to begin with. Oh, and I lol’d when he didn’t show up to Ellen in person, but telecommuted instead. Pretty funny! So I got to wondering how it was that women can always tell. They can tell if other women are hot as well as men. If things were fair, they’d be able to tell if men were hot but they’d be confused about other women, right? Not the case. Now wouldn’t that be so easy and nice? How many female problems would just vanish if they couldn’t tell if the other were hot or not? Jealousy? Poof! Be gone!

Fat chance. But, there was something else. Some dudes can tell if other dudes are hot. What’s with that? Maybe the ones who can tell are more in touch with themselves. Maybe those dudes are more on the sensitive side, which in all honesty I can’t see how, would make a difference. I think it’s a little more than that though. I haven’t done any research, and I doubt that I ever will, but I think it is simply people having an eye for these sorts of things. Like and art collector or anyone else that has a keen eye for the beauty in the flowers, the even sound of a well-pitched note, or even the beautifully combined words of thought provoking prose, maybe it has more to do with the eye of the beholder. Maybe only those, male or female, that have reached a certain level of enlightenment can discern real beauty, and beauty that is beyond skin deep? Does that mean that women are more enlightened than men? Maybe. You tell me.

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Revolution of the Soul. A Mission Statement.

I am by default, and through no fault of my own, different. I’m not out cruising the boulevard on the weekends, blasting oldies-but-goodies with the homies. I am also not listening to rock en Espanol, speaking in Spanish-only with my friends. I could fit into either stereotype perfectly though, and to an outsider, I probably appear to be from either or both worlds. I have brown skin, which is pretty much all it takes. It’s not that simple though, as others like me surely understand. I speak some Spanish but I also speak perfect English. I went to college. I love hamburgers and fries, and hip-hop, and alternative music. I have simply integrated into American culture from the start, because I was born here, and because I wanted to.

I’m glad that I’m not still stuck in Mexico somewhere, growing up a third world existence, which statistically would have been the case, had my familia never come here. But I am glad to have come from a country and peoples with such a rich and vibrant history. There are many reasons having such a heritage is a good thing, and I am proud to be a part of it. I am glad to have been born here in America, and happy to be part of this system. I’m happier yet that I didn’t grow up as a cholo gang-banging, tagger, too-cool-for school type of guy, even though I’ve had plenty of chances, given my surroundings. That subculture is not all bad either, depending on the level of involvement and the choices one makes. In other words, you can look the part without being a thug, or a social, or immigrant, or anything else, que no? This is true of all life.

So even though I am different, I am by no means alone, and I know this. The problem for me is that I’m not seeing enough representation out there in the media. I’m not seeing a lot of works written, or filmed, for people like me. It annoys me, too, for a lot of political reasons, because our image is grossly misrepresented. Sure the gangbanger cholos are fun to include in film, because violence sells. However, that only perpetuates a false image. These days, it seems as though everyone in this country sees us either as cholos or as immigrants that refuse to assimilate, legal or not. This angers me because we are so many different things including a multitude of diversity within our own subculture. It’s pretty frickin’ beautiful, if everyone only knew…

Either way, I decided to make the changes I wanted to see, on my own. I’m writing stories for me, for you, and for everyone else, and my main characters are all Latino, and not just Mexican-Latino either. My stories are not about quinceaneras or growing up as a pocho in high school. They are not about crossing the border, or starting any revolutions. The only revolution I write about is the Revolution of the Soul. My stories are meant to entertain and inspire people, and hopefully many of you will relate to them in one way or another, and see yourselves there in them, wherever that may be.